Take a look at where you're standing, and look for a place that is even better.
What a time to be alive! I love it! So the mission is hard, we are in a harder area for sure! A lot of people don't give us the time of day, it can be a real is pain. But, I love it. I love meeting new people and I love the strength I receive, it is incredible! So I talked to the incredibly, wonderful President Hayes and I am getting better. He told me how it was going to be and where he wanted me to be when i finish my mission and we set some goals to get me there. I love it. He is an incredible man. We also finished the Zone Goal again and it was really cool. It was a high goal and all of us worked really hard to achieve it.
I will say something though, before the mission I was the spelling king and now I feel like I am writing at the level of an entry essay for 4th grade. I can't spell worth crap.
But yeah, I can honestly say that more has changed in my life than in the 18 years before that. It is a good thing though. It really is. I am learning a lot from how it WAS to now how i
Lets talk about that a little more. Where I grew up most everyone knew me in High School, I was a kid that people wanted to hang out with, OR SO I THOUGHT! I always had something to do on the weekends, a party, a hangout, a girl, a game. I was always with someone but I always depended on myself. I was the one with the answers. If I didn't get results I was the one with all the blame. I was COCKY! If I would have met myself I would HAVE NEVER hung out with me, okay, maybe occasionally. I wasn't all bad...(I don't think). But I was alone in my sin, I was alone in my work, I was alone on my team and I was alone. I was self centered!
But now I am starting to know! I KNOW THAT I AM NOTHING WITHOUT GOD. I am someone that NEEDS to be dependent on Him! I will now work hard to be someone that is a tool in the hands of the Lord. I will be a pencil in the hands of the Lord. I am changing for the rest of my life and I will not stop until I have reached perfection (NEVER) I will be humble because I don't have the right to not be. I will change my life for the better. I am learning that now more than ever.
I am sad, I have lost friends in this 9 months. I have lost confidence in myself in these 9 months. I have learned that I need help EVERY SINGLE DAY! I am a capable person, I can do things on my own. But there are so many times where I can't. I just need to ask God. So as I am repenting for my sins and my mistakes. This is my life, I am weeding out the bad and planting the good. This has been a hard realization but I am learning a lot. The closeness I have with people in the mission that I see like 2 times a month is stronger than the people I talked to everyday growing up. If I had to say what the point of this letter is, it would be this, "Take a look at where you're standing, and look for a place that is even better." I love this work with all of my heart, I am starting to receive the light of Christ. At first I was scared of it burning me. But I've recognized that I should not be like that. I have felt the Atonement of Christ break the barrier of spiritual sadness and I have felt it lift me to places I have never been before. I love you all that read this blog and send prayers my way. I FEEL THEM! THEY DO NOT GO UNANSWERED:! I am thankful for my mother, the shear strength that she shows to every single person she has ever met. I am thankful for my father and the sincerity that I can see in his eyes. I am thankful for my older Sister, I love the brightness you can feel in her soul when you are near her. I love my brother in law Cade for showing the example that I need to strive for. I am absolutely thankful for my older Brother and his example of helping. He has learned a lot of things the hard way, and instead of him watching others suffer he always provides a helping hand. I love the family I was raised in and the family I chose. I love my best Friends with all my heart. It gives me strength to know that they are also putting on the name of the Son of God with me.
I feel the power from the following:
Many more that are representatives of our Savior bring me strength as well. I love you all. Have a good week and get close to God.